When I first started mediating, I wanted to be sensitive to people who might not be able to afford my fees. I offered a sliding scale for low-income clients who could prove financial need. It felt like the right thing to do at the time—I wanted to make my services accessible.
But over the years, I’ve realized that allowing deferred payments in professional services often leads to unintended consequences. While I no longer offer sliding-scale fees, every once in a while, someone asks to pay me later. These situations always make me pause and reflect on the lessons I’ve learned.
The Costs of Saying "Yes" to Deferred Payments
The first time I lowered my fees, I later discovered the client had an $800-a-month car payment. This was ten years ago, so it would be closer to $1000 today. I still remember how angry it made me. How could they afford such a high monthly car payment but claim they couldn’t pay me for my time and expertise?
More recently, I had a client who earns close to $200,000 a year. They told me they couldn’t afford to pay my invoice before the session, even though their net monthly income was almost $9,000. I gave them the benefit of the doubt because of their professional position and trusted they’d pay promptly. They didn’t. It took over a week to get the payment, and I felt taken advantage of.
And then there was the case where I agreed to take my fees out of the proceeds from a home sale. The client sounded desperate, and they assured me it wouldn’t take long. It took six months. My rates had increased by the time I was paid, and I felt frustrated and undervalued. To make matters worse, I didn’t have enough money that Christmas to provide the holiday I wanted for my children. That experience taught me a painful lesson about putting my needs aside for someone else’s convenience.
Why Do Professionals Allow Deferred Fees?
Looking back, I realize there were reasons I allowed these situations to happen:
I wanted to help. Many of us in service-based professions feel responsible for making things easier for our clients, even at our own expense.
I trusted too easily. High-earning or professional clients seemed like safe bets, but appearances can be deceiving.
I feared losing business. In the moment, conceding to their requests felt easier than standing firm and risking losing the client.
However, I felt undervalued and resentful whenever I agreed to defer my fees. The financial strain and time spent chasing payments weren’t worth it.
What I’ve Learned About Setting Boundaries
After years of these experiences, I’ve learned that my time and expertise have value—and that value deserves to be respected. Allowing deferred payments in professional services isn’t just about money; it’s about maintaining professional boundaries and self-respect.
Here’s how I approach these situations now:
1. Clear Payment Policies
I require payment upfront for all services. This policy ensures I’m compensated fairly and allows me to focus on providing the best possible service without worrying about invoices.
2. Service Fees for Deferred Payments
If a client insists on deferred payment, I make it clear that there will be an additional fee. This reflects the cost of the delay and ensures my time is still valued.
3. Contracts for Deferred Fees
I use a written agreement outlining repayment terms and any additional fees for larger sums or long delays. This protects both parties and eliminates misunderstandings.
Why Deferred Fees Hurt Professionals
Allowing clients to defer payments may seem like a compassionate choice, but it often comes at a cost:
Emotional Toll: Chasing payments and feeling like your work isn’t valued is frustrating.
Financial Strain: Waiting weeks or months for payment can disrupt your personal and professional finances.
Time Loss: The energy spent following up on unpaid invoices could be better used elsewhere.
How to Handle Requests for Deferred Fees
Now, when someone asks to defer their payment, I approach the situation differently:
Evaluate the Request: Is the client truly in financial need, or are they prioritizing other expenses over my services?
Explain My Policy: I politely but firmly explain that my policy requires payment before services are rendered.
Offer Alternatives: If they genuinely can’t pay upfront, I might suggest third-party financing options, a payment plan through a separate provider or enter into a contractual agreement with a surcharge for the delayed payment.
Respecting My Value
Perhaps the biggest lesson I’ve learned is to respect the value of my services. Every time I’ve allowed deferred payments, I’ve realized afterward that it wasn’t about the client undervaluing me—it was about me not valuing myself enough to enforce my boundaries.
When I stand firm, I create a professional relationship built on mutual respect. My clients know what to expect, and I don’t feel resentful or exploited.
Final Thoughts
If you’re a professional struggling with deferred fees, I encourage you to reflect on your boundaries. Do your policies truly protect your time and expertise? Are you valuing yourself as much as you value your clients?
Setting clear payment policies and standing by them isn’t just about getting paid—it’s about recognizing your worth and ensuring your business remains sustainable. And remember, clients who genuinely respect your work will understand and honour your boundaries.
Have you experienced challenges with clients asking to defer fees? I’d love to hear how you’ve handled it—share your thoughts or connect with me to continue the conversation!
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