top of page
Writer's pictureMichelle Rakowski

Fairness in Mediation: Balancing Expectations and Resolving Conflicts


Playing pieces on a game board

Understanding fairness in mediation is key to balancing entitlement and achieving resolutions that benefit both parties.


In family mediation, achieving fairness is often more complex than it seems. Fairness in mediation isn’t just about dividing assets equally—it’s about considering the legal, financial, and emotional factors that contribute to a balanced outcome. However, when one party feels entitled to more than their fair share, negotiations can quickly become challenging.


In this blog, we’ll explore how fairness in mediation can be maintained, the mediator’s role in balancing expectations, and strategies for both mediators and clients to address entitlement constructively.


What Does Fairness in Mediation Look Like?


Fairness in mediation means creating solutions that respect both parties' needs and align with legal principles. It’s not always about equal division but about what’s equitable given the circumstances.


Entitlement, on the other hand, can skew perceptions of fairness. For example, one party may feel they deserve a greater share of assets due to their financial contributions or sacrifices, regardless of what the law prescribes. While these feelings are valid, they can hinder progress if not managed effectively.


Understanding the difference between fairness and entitlement is critical to ensuring mediation is productive and mutually beneficial.


The Mediator’s Role in Promoting Fairness


Mediators play a crucial role in upholding fairness in mediation. Their job is to remain neutral while helping both parties see beyond their positions to find equitable solutions. This requires skill, empathy, and a deep understanding of the legal framework.

Here’s how mediators can promote fairness:


  • Acknowledge Emotional Needs: Validate feelings without affirming unrealistic expectations.

  • Focus on Shared Goals: Encourage discussions that prioritize mutual interests, like financial stability or co-parenting.

  • Use Objective Data: Presenting financial summaries and legal guidelines can ground conversations in reality.


Strategies for Managing Entitlement in Mediation


  1. Educate Early Many entitlement issues stem from a lack of understanding. Setting clear expectations about what mediation can and cannot achieve helps prevent unrealistic demands.

  2. Reframe Discussions: Shift the focus from “what I deserve” to “what we need to move forward.” This change in perspective fosters collaboration.

  3. Provide Visual Tools: Financial summaries and projections help clarify what’s feasible, making it easier for both parties to accept fair outcomes.

  4. Encourage Empathy: Helping each party see the other’s perspective can soften rigid demands and promote compromise.


For Clients: Tips to Embrace Fairness in Mediation


If you’re entering mediation, keeping fairness at the forefront of your mind can make the process smoother. Here’s how:


  • Be Informed: Understand the legal and financial guidelines that govern your case.

  • Stay Self-Aware: Recognize when entitlement might be clouding your judgment. Ask yourself, “Am I focusing on fairness, or unresolved emotions?”

  • Focus on Solutions: Mediation is about moving forward, not revisiting the past or seeking validation.


When Mediation Reaches an Impasse


While fairness in mediation is the goal, there are cases where entitlement prevents progress. When this happens, alternatives like collaborative law or arbitration may be necessary. However, clients should consider the emotional and financial costs of litigation before pursuing these routes.


Conclusion: Why Fairness in Mediation Matters


Fairness in mediation isn’t just about legal compliance—it’s about creating a resolution that allows both parties to rebuild and move forward. Balancing entitlement and expectations is a delicate task, but with the right approach, mediation can provide a path to resolution that respects everyone’s needs.


If you’re navigating a complex separation and need support, mediation can provide the clarity and resolution you’re looking for. I’m here to guide you every step of the way. Let’s work together to create solutions that are fair, equitable, and focused on building a better future. Contact me today to schedule your consultation and take the first step toward a peaceful resolution.

Comments


bottom of page