Lawyer Not Explaining Things? It Might Be a Strategy

Michelle Rakowski
Nov 13
3 min read

Three people in a meeting; a woman and man gesturing with papers, discussing with another seated man. Bright office setting, serious mood. — If your lawyer isn’t explaining things, it’s time to ask why.

You shouldn’t need a law degree to understand what’s happening in your own divorce.

If your lawyer’s not explaining things, and you’re constantly confused or left in the dark, it’s not just frustrating, it could be strategic.

Confusion keeps you dependent. It keeps you quiet. And in high-stakes situations like divorce, silence can cost you more than just money.

The Hidden Impact of a Lawyer Not Explaining Things

Clients often describe the same experience:

“I don’t know what I’m signing.”
“They talk so fast, I can’t keep up.”
“They keep saying, ‘It’s just standard.’ But I don’t know what that means.”

This isn’t just legal language; it’s a power imbalance.

When your lawyer isn’t clearly explaining your options, your risks, or your responsibilities, they’re not helping you, they’re controlling the narrative.

Why Some Lawyers Use Confusion as a Tactic

Not all lawyers do this maliciously. But some intentionally:

Use legal jargon to maintain authority
Avoid plain English to discourage questions
Keep clients overwhelmed to reduce pushback

This keeps the process moving on their terms, not yours. And it works, because when people are confused, they often freeze or defer. They stop asking. They stop challenging. They sign whatever’s put in front of them.

Red Flags to Watch For

You may be dealing with a communication issue if:

You’re constantly asking for clarification and still don’t get it
You feel rushed to agree to things you don’t fully understand
You leave meetings more confused than when you arrived
Your lawyer makes you feel stupid or burdensome for asking questions

These are warning signs.

Text on hiring a divorce lawyer with a gavel. Key tips: avoid mistakes, spot red flags, control your case. White background, bold colors.

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You Have the Right to Understand

You’re not difficult. You’re not dramatic. You’re not a “bad client.”

You’re paying for a service, and that includes basic comprehension.

A good lawyer:

Explains things in plain language
Checks for your understanding
Respects your pace
Welcomes your questions, even if they’ve answered them before

If your lawyer isn’t explaining things, it’s time to ask why, and what that’s costing you.

How to Respond When You're Being Kept in the Dark

Start documenting. Write down questions that go unanswered or vague explanations.
Speak up directly. Try: “I don’t understand this and I need you to slow down.”
Set expectations. Say: “If I don’t fully understand it, I won’t be signing it.”
Consult someone else. Getting a second opinion can reveal how much you’ve been missing—and what you deserve instead.