Parenting for Single Parents: A New Way That Doesn’t Feel Like a Battle

Parenting for single parents is often described as a war zone; a battle of wills, a fight to maintain order, a struggle to get your kids to listen. If you’ve ever collapsed on the couch after yet another emotional standoff, you’re not alone. I’ve been there too.

But over time, I realized: maybe it’s not the parenting that’s the problem. Maybe it’s the model we were taught to use.

Why “Control” Doesn’t Work, Especially for Single Parents

If you were raised under the “firm but fair” model of parenting, you’re not alone. For decades, authoritative parenting was seen as the gold standard. And on paper, it seems reasonable: structure + warmth. But in real life, especially when you're doing this alone, it can feel like an exhausting game of compliance management.

Because even the authoritative approach still tries to control, and it does so nicely. And when you’re the only adult in the house, constantly trying to “win” every situation with logic, rules, or behavior charts, it’s a recipe for burnout.

This is why parenting for single parents needs something deeper, something that doesn’t drain you, something that doesn’t turn every interaction into a power struggle.

A Sacred Shift: Parenting from a Different Place

Early in my own journey as a single mother, I made a decision. I didn’t want to parent from my ego, the part of me that needed to control, fix, or prove. I wanted to parent from a deeper place, I call the sacred self.

I’m not religious, but I believe everyone, including our children, carries a sacred self: that steady, creative, connected part of us that wants to cooperate, not fight. That part in each of us that longs for trust, not dominance.

So I started practicing something different. Instead of reacting from my ego, I paused. I chose to meet my child from my sacred self, and to see their sacred self in return. And something amazing happened: parenting became easier. Not perfect, but more peaceful. More real. More joyful.

Why the Old Models Burn Us Out

Let’s be honest: most mainstream parenting models are still centered on ego. Authoritative parenting teaches compliance. Gentle parenting often creates ego-to-ego negotiations that leave everyone exhausted.

And when you’re parenting solo, that’s just too much. You’re managing your child’s reactions and your own. That’s a full-time job with no support, and no end in sight.

But parenting for single parents doesn’t have to look like that. When you shift the center from ego to sacred self, everything changes. You’re no longer trying to outmaneuver your child’s behavior. You’re inviting their essence into the conversation. You’re not asking them to perform; you’re asking them to show up as who they truly are.

And when you do, they usually will.

A Real Moment: From Conflict to Connection

When my son was 10, he chipped a tooth playing football at school. When I picked him up, he was adamant that he would not go to the dentist. This was unusual for him, because he was usually pretty cooperative. I realized that he was probably tired and scared and that his ego was having an outburst at me. I chose not to engage him. Instead, I decided to look at him and only see his sacred self. And I found myself entering a very peaceful state.

Moments later, it was like someone hit a light switch; he looked at me and said, "Ok, Mom, let's go to the dentist". Is it magic? It sure felt like it, but I believe this is what it can look like when you decide not to engage in an ego battle with your children. Throughout my children's growing years, I continued to use this approach, and it has worked. It really does!

This Isn’t About Being Nice — It’s About Being Aligned

It’s important to say: this approach isn’t just about being soft or kind. It’s not permissive. It’s powerful. Parenting from the sacred self means you’re no longer trying to make the ego behave. You’re building something far more lasting: internal alignment. When your child learns to trust their own sacred self and their inner compass, they don’t need constant management. They start leading themselves.

This is especially important for neurodivergent children, whose nervous systems often refuse to betray their truth just to please others. What looks like defiance is often integrity. Sacred self parenting makes room for that integrity, and teaches children to honor it.

Why This Model Works, Even When You’re Doing It Alone

People often ask me how I managed to raise four children alone while running businesses and caring for a terminally ill parent. The truth is: if I had parented from my ego, I would’ve collapsed. But when I parented from my sacred self, and met my children’s sacred selves, something clicked. We weren’t fighting anymore. We were building something together. And that freed up so much energy.

Parenting for single parents isn’t just about surviving the day. It’s about thriving in the relationship. It’s about raising children whose wholeness remains intact — and keeping your own wholeness along the way.

Next Steps

If this approach to parenting resonates with you, I invite you to stay connected. Book a free 20-minute consultation to learn how my parent-coaching method can help you transition from parenting in angst to parenting in peace.

You’re not in a battle. You’re building a relationship, one sacred self to another.