Developmentally, children of different ages have different needs that should be considered when making a parenting schedule. Let’s look at the age categories and what should be considered explicitly in each.
Children age 0-2:
For children in this age group, the main factors to consider when making a divorce parenting schedule are their caregivers' attachment, consistency, and stability. Young children need frequent and regular contact with both parents to maintain a secure bond and avoid separation anxiety. They also need predictable routines and minimal disruptions to their environment and schedule. Therefore, a parenting schedule for this age group should aim to provide:
● Shorter but more frequent visits with each parent, such as every two or three days
● Overnight stays with each parent only if the child is comfortable and well-adjusted
● A primary residence for the child that is close to the other parent's home
● A clear and detailed plan for transitions, communication, and emergencies
● Flexibility and cooperation between the parents to accommodate the child's changing needs and preferences
Some examples of divorce parenting schedules for children aged 0-2 are:
● The 2-2-3 schedule has the child spend two days with one parent, two days with the other parent, then three days with the first parent. On the following week, this is flipped.
● The 3-4-4-3 schedule has the child spend three days with one parent, four days with the other parent, four days with the first parent, and three days with the other parent.
● The alternating every two days schedule, which has your child switch between the parents every two days
Children age 3-5:
The main factors to consider when making a divorce parenting schedule for children aged 3 - 5 are their children's development, socialization, and education. Preschool and kindergarten children are learning new skills, exploring their interests, and forming friendships. They also need consistent guidance, support, and discipline from both parents. A parenting schedule for children age 3-5 should include:
● Longer but less frequent visits with each parent, such as every week or every two weeks
● Overnight stays with each parent that are aligned with the child's school or daycare schedule
● A primary residence for the child that is close to the child's school or daycare
● A clear and detailed plan for transitions, communication, and emergencies
● Flexibility and cooperation between the parents to accommodate the child's activities, events, and holidays
Some examples of divorce parenting schedules for children aged 3-5 are:
● The week on, week off schedule. This is the most straightforward parenting plan to use as it limits exchanges and always happens on the same day.
● The 5-2-2-5 schedule has the child spend five days with one parent, then two days with the other parent, then two days with the first parent, then 5 days with the other parent.
● The alternating weekend schedule has the child spend weekdays with one parent and weekends with the other parent.
Children age 6-12:
For children in this age group, consider making a divorce parenting schedule where the independence, involvement, and identity of the child are primary. School-age children are developing their personalities, opinions, and interests. As they grow, they need more autonomy, responsibility, and input. They also need both parents to be involved in their academic, extracurricular, and social activities. For children aged 6-12, consider the following:
● Equal or near-equal time with each parent, such as 50/50 or 60/40
● Overnight stays with each parent that are aligned with the child's school schedule
● A primary residence for the child that is close to the child's school and friends
● A clear and detailed plan for transitions, communication, and emergencies
● Flexibility and cooperation between the parents to accommodate the child's preferences, needs, and goals
Some examples of divorce parenting schedules for children age 6-12 are:
● The alternating weeks (7/7) schedule (see above)
● The 5/2/2/5 schedule (see above)
● The 4/3/3/4 schedule has your child spend four days with one parent, then three days with another, then three days again, followed by four
Teenagers:
Teenagers strive to grow in maturity, elicit respect, and gain freedom. Becoming more independent, self-reliant, and assertive is a priority at this stage of their lives. They also need more privacy, space, and trust from both parents. Parents who respect their teenager's choices, feelings, and relationships will find their parenting more successful. When making a parenting schedule for teens, consider these things:
● Balanced but flexible time with each parent, such as 50/50 or 70/30
● Overnight stays with each parent that are aligned with the teenager's school and work schedule
● A choice of residence for the teenager that is close to the teenager's school, friends, and activities
● A clear and detailed plan for transitions, communication, and emergencies
● Flexibility and cooperation between the parents to accommodate the teenager's opinions, needs, and plans
Some examples of divorce parenting schedules for teenagers are:
● Every other week
● The 70/30 schedule, which has your teenager spend 70 percent of the time with one parent and 30 percent of the time with the other parent
● The customized schedule, which has your teenager decide on the time and frequency of visits with each parent based on their preferences and circumstances
To get a good overview of the many things you should consider when designing a parenting schedule, watch my video:
The Best Choices When making Parenting Schedules for Divorce
Deciding on a parenting schedule that honours your child's stage of development is essential as they grow up. If you have children in different age categories, you must get creative and figure out ways to integrate their needs into a cohesive parenting schedule that works for everyone. This can be challenging, especially if you have no experience doing this. If you would like some help deciding the best parenting schedule for your unique situation, book a free consultation with me. I can assist you in getting clarity and finding a way forward.
There are many more resources on my website to help you create your parenting schedule. Check out this blog post, "Who Gets to Stay and Who Gets to Say? The Difference Between Residency and Custody in Divorce"
Some additional resources to explore for parenting schedules include the Government of Ontario's Guide for Parenting Time
and Custody XChange.
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